"Anyone who thinks the LHC will destroy the world is a twat" or It’s not the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine

It happens every couple of years. Something will cause the end of the world. Papers start their stupid headlines and some gullible folks get scared. So the LHC is being switched on tomorrow and around the world the morons are lining up to start wailing.

Worse, all day I’ve had children talking about it. Somewhere, they’ve got the idea that it could happen. And it’s been nagging at them. The same way a 10 year old starts getting the nagging doubt about the man in the red and white suit at Christmas time. They don’t really believe it, but they’ve got that nagging doubt about it. And when they ask it’s up to us to reassure them.
Unfortunately I can’t quote from the most wonderful Professor Brian Cox; one of the scientists involved at CERN (and bizarrely, according to his wiki entry, was keyboard player in D’Ream). He’s involved in a BBC article answering people’s questions about the LHC:

The LHC has absolutely no chance of destroying anything bigger than a few protons, let alone the Earth. This is not based on theoretical assumptions.

For the record, the LHC collides particles together at energies far below those naturally occurring in many places in the Universe, including the upper atmosphere of our planet every second of every day. If the LHC can produce micro black holes, for example, then nature is doing it right now by smashing ultra-high energy cosmic ray particles into the Earth directly above our heads with no discernable consequences.

I am in fact immensely irritated by the conspiracy theorists who spread this nonsense around and try to scare people. This non-story is symptomatic of a larger mistrust in science, particularly in the US, which includes intelligent design amongst other things.

The only serious issue is why so many people who don’t have the time or inclination to discover for themselves why this stuff is total crap have to be exposed to the opinions of these half-wits.

And just in case you don’t get it from this he’s summarised his feelings on the matter in the best, funniest line I read all day. Ladies & Gentlemen,I give you Prof Brian Cox, my new favourite scientist:

Anyone who thinks the LHC will destroy the world is a twat.

It perfectly sums up the frustration we feel when science is deliberately misunderstood, twisted and over-hyped by a media desperate for sexy headlines and a populus generally distrustful of science. It’s the disturbing spectre of a return to a cultural and intellectual wasteland. Personally I’m blaming it all on Big Brother, Hello magazine and Jeremy Kyle. They don’t get death threats, but the scientists working on discovering fundamental secrets of the universe do? It’s a bad world.

And now R.E.M.

So don’t be a twat. Maybe a good place to start would be to actually read about what the LHC is?

The LHC pages, including a simple Safety page.
LHC wiki (You know, for folks who want it all spelled out in nice, easy to understand chunks)
Various BBC articles
Brian Cox’s website (down at the time of writing)
Brian Cox: What really goes on at the LHC – 16 minute You Tube. Essential.

Large Hadron Collider will not destroy the universe

Well, I’m relieved.
Of course the greatest thing about this story from Boing Boing is the quote from one of the scientists that Cory Doctorow asked about the worries some people were having about black holes raging out of control once the switch on happens:

“Look, it’s a 10^-19 chance, and you’ve got a 10^-11 chance of suddenly evaporating while shaving.”

It’s brilliant on two levels; either it’s a scientist with a great sense of humour or, and this is even better, there genuinely is a 10^-11 chance of evaporating whilst having a shave. Who knew?
Anyway, a science techy geek like me can spend many hours on big physics, so a wander around the LHC website is a must at some point.

Of course, from this I also wandered off to read Cory’s article in the latest Nature: Big Data, welcome to the Petacentre. It’s all about the not so fascinating idea of large data centres. Or so you might think , but 20 minutes of my time in between writing the last paragraph and this one says otherwise. Again, who knew reading about the incredible data load and the energy and colling requirements thereof could be so incredibly fascinating?

Albert Hoffman 1906-2008

Albert Hoffman died last night aged 102.
Hofmann was, of course, the scientist responsible for synthesising LSD-25 in 1938.

Little by little I could begin to enjoy the unprecedented colors and plays of shapes that persisted behind my closed eyes.
Kaleidoscopic, fantastic images surged in on me, alternating, variegated, opening and then closing themselves in circles and spirals, exploding in colored fountains, rearranging and hybridizing themselves in constant flux.
It was particularly remarkable how every acoustic perception, such as the sound of a door handle or a passing automobile, became transformed into optical perceptions.
Every sound generated a vividly changing image, with its own consistent form and color.

Albert Hoffman, describing the effects of his ingestion of LSD following his “Bicycle Day”

What Would Richard Feynman Do?

Richard Feynman, bongo-playing, lock-picking, “all-genius, all-buffoon” Physicist and a perfect example of how all genius level intellects should act.

What Would Richard Feynman Do?
(via Jez)