PROPAGANDA reviews – The Sword

The Sword
By the Luna Brothers

A long time ago, I was handed the first two series by the Luna Brothers; Ultra and Girls. Ultra was a fun, if clichéd book that can easily and conveniently summed up as a “Superhero Sex in the City”. For me, Girls can just as easily be summed up as “bloody awful”. I got to the bit with the giant sperm and giant egg and realised I was reading one of the most unintentionally funny comics for a long time. This opinion wasn’t shared by the co-workers at Nostalgia & Comics, who went on to vote Girls as one of their books of the year. But the annual shop vote was a democratic thing. This review isn’t. Hence Girls was awful.

Based upon this I didn’t have particularly high hopes for issue one of their new series: The Sword. We’re introduced to a middle class suburban family, mom, dad and their two grown up daughters, one of whom is in a wheelchair. All is normal until three menacing characters with strange powers turn up at the door, calling the dad “Demetrios” and demanding “The Sword”. So far and so dull.

What follows is what can only be called torture porn.

(the perils of extreme liposuction in The Sword #1, published by Image, (c) the Luna Brothers)

It seems the Luna Brothers have been watching films like Hostel and Death Wish recently and think it would be cool to put a bit of this in their comics. The whole family is brutally and pointlessly murdered (or so they think), the oh-so stereotyped cult figures leave and the disabled daughter conveniently falls into a huge void space under the house where, surprise, surprise, the Sword is right there in front of her. Miraculously, on grasping it, her legs start working again and she rises up, confused as all hell. What does all this mean?

Don’t care. This was twenty four pages of really bloody awful comics that just left a nasty taste in my mouth and absolutely no desire to see what inventive and original way the Luna Brothers decide to play this out. Although I’m guessing they’ll be riffing Kill Bill next. I’m also guessing it will be just a terrible.

So we already we have a front-runner for my worst comic of the year 2008. Because it’s going to take something really, really bad to be as horrible, as nasty and as derivative as this.

Originally posted at the FPI blog here.

You all just aren’t listening………

Exhibit A:
Stephen King’s Dark Tower comic. I thought:

“This feels like Peter David trying his best to do a Neil Gaiman impression. Frankly it’s just not very good. Sometimes it’s a bad thing when Neil Gaiman does a Neil Gaiman impression, but when someone with less talent tries it; it just doesn’t work at all.”

You thought: Let’s make this sack of shit a bestseller. #1 bestseller, midnight openings for #1 release, HC straight at #1, huge sales. etc etc.

Exhibit B:

Now we have Ultimates Volume 3.
I thought:

“Ultimates Volume 3. Let’s all pretend it doesn’t exist. Maybe we can wish it out of existence.”

You thought: we shall buy it in huge numbers then. (well, huge for comics now anyway).
Bastards. Although of course, I love you all.

PROPAGANDA @ FPI blog – The Sword by The Luna Brothers…….

Review up at the FPI blog here.

A contender for the worst comic of 2008. And so soon into the year.

This is hateful, nasty rubbish.